Finally.

Last night was . . . odd. Refreshing

I didn't have anything to think about, no guys on my mind, nothing. Nothing to worry about emotionally. It was strangely, wonderfully freeing.

I feel as though there's something I've missed, like there's something more and I just don't know it yet, some catch-22, but I don't care.

I think, if only for a short time, I'll revel in this feeling of freedom. It's been blessedly effective, this whole journal/blog thing. It hasn't been that long, but it has been extremely fruitful. I never knew I could know myself. Though, granted, I only know myself in part and in this moment alone, I don't care. I've worked out a small portion of my heart's confusion.

And I've realized, unremarkable as it may sound, I really have got everything to look forward to.

C. was really nothing to me. I can say that with the utmost sincerity, which makes me absolutely joyous. I've never been in love. Never. Nor have I yet found that one other human being with which I can connect on a supremely sublime, elemental level.

I'm still waiting. But the funny thing is, I find I can. After all, I suppose I have to be patient, and wait for my life to get itself in order first. (And wait for me to get myself in order as well, eh?) :)

(What prompted this? Hmm. A new, enlightening conversation, I'd say.) ;)

PS. We're going on two nights in a row - - no music, no dreams. *grins*