What was that?

So, what was that about yesterday?

Let's see. Mood swings aplenty. No path in my mind, none for the future. I have no clue where I'm going or what I'm doing or what I'm supposed to do, and it's simply killing me.

Day before yesterday, as you might have seen, I had unbounded energy. When I got home, I was extremely sleepy. Then yesterday I was increasingly angry at everything as my day progressed, everyone simply irritating me beyond end. When I got home, I cried in front of my mom, probably for the first time ever. So, I was a little freaked out. My mood is changing so rapidly, and to such extremes, that even I'm getting dizzy. I can't keep up with myself anymore.

After crying to my mom for about fifteen minutes, trying to explain what I can't even explain to myself, she suggested we go to the greek resturant downtown. It was nice. I love that place, they have the best food. Unfortunately, because of that, I stuffed myself silly. But it was still delicious. Then, my sister came home with an enormous bag of M&Ms. Perfect.

I asked my mom if I could stay home today, and I did. It was wonderful, but I'm still tired.

On the bright side, I got into a college. It's only in town and stuff, but it's way better than nothing. That was one of the things I was freaking out about: I hadn't gotten into any colleges yet. I had no safety net. (That rhymes, doesn't it?) But still. Now I have at least something, even if I don't get any financial aid, even if I drown in debt, at least I have somewhere to go. My mom plans to move as soon as I graduate, my sister wants to move to Oregon, and I couldn't possibly live at my grandparents house, as they're getting older. So, now I have a place to go. Egads, I feel like a lost puppy dog. Everyone is abandoning me. Now, I've found my dog house, my little cardboard box next to that house down the street with the nice lady who gives out scraps. Sheesh.

Anyway. I have to write an essay for this Valedictorian scholarship, it's due in a couple of days. I figure, I'll get the rest of the forms for that place out of the way this week. I'm excited, and for the moment, not anxious anymore. I think.

Oh, did I mention? I got all A's for this semester. Still Valedictorian!! :D Still safe. Now, I just have to do the same for the next four months.

Fuck. I'm screwed.

I had a conversation with C. and somehow it turned up in our conversation where I said "You suck." and he goes "Is that why you're in love with me?" I answered him "I'm not in love you. Don't feel so special." And he goes "Damn! Now I can't rip your soul from your body" or some such shit. That's the way he is. But now he knows that I'm not in love with him. Lol. Yeah, don't give me that eye roll. I'm not. I like him, sometimes, but I'm definitely not in love with him.

My story that I'm doing with L. has finally got chapter one posted. Currently, I have chapters one through four written. I'm rather proud. But L is bugging me about "where is the story going to go" "what do we want to happen?" "how do we want it to end (character personality/growth-wise)?" God. She just needs to tell me what the hell she wants to happen, so I can think about it. But after she asks me all of this shit, she tells me that she hasn't even thought once about the story. That's what is so goddamn frustrating about this all. I'm getting rather irritated. Fuck, if she wants something specific, she needs to give me some goddamn examples.

Here I go again. All moody and stuff. Sorry. Anyway, the first chapter is up, and it's hilarious, I think. It's called "Brighter Than Neon." What do you think? I think you should read it. *laughs*

http://www.harrypotterfanfiction.com/viewuser.php?showuid=161359

And yes, our penname is 'twitchy_pigeons.' Got a problem with that?

Lol.

Good night whomever you are that reads this blog. And if you do read my story, review or comment on it. I would love feedback, even if it's anonymous. ;)