Mmm, finally.

I went to sleep last night at 6 o'clock. I woke up only an hour or so ago. That gave me 17 hours of sleep. And this time, finally, I feel it. I feel refreshed, like I actually got some sleep. It's beautiful to feel this way.




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2V0nKKK5cbg - The original, if this one isn't the one you know. ;) From the 80's, if you're wondering.

This is a good saturday morning song. Don't you think? I do, in any case.

I feel a silent urge, today, to do something. I cannot figure out what. Smile, or be nostalgic, or dream, or cry. I feel like I probably need to cry, but I want to smile too. I so badly want to smile.
A week or two ago, during break, I read a story in HPFF. A line from one of those stories, I forget which one, sticks with me very much.

"When you're up here killing yourself, you're also slowly killing me." My heart tears itself into pieces looking for the guy that would say that to me. They are out there, those guys, we just haven't found them yet.

I was talking to my friend L. a while back, and I told her: "Our Prince Charming is out there, we're just not allowed to find them until they've grown up. . . and gotten over themselves." They don't all start out so sweet, do they? Some, but not all.



I didn't have an altogether pleasant dream last night, but it was sort of a door closer. So, in a way, it was a good dream. I may have jumped off the roof of a building, but I was doing it from only a three-story, and I was trying to tell someone something. I had grabbed onto something and fell. I lived, make no mistake of that. But in the dream, I'm married to one guy, who only married me for what I was, what I brought to him, and not because he loved me. In the dream, I finally leave him, and the guy who actually loves me saves me. I don't explain it very well, I know. But it was a good dream, at the end. In the dream, I finally see that he doesn't love me, and I finally find the guy who does. I move on, in my mind. This has hope for in the reality, doesn't it? Well, I'll choose to see hope in this. I have to.



Well, I feel like I should do something, now. Maybe I'll write a poem, with a better light to it. A fresh light. Maybe I'll read a good book. Maybe I'll smile. Who knows?

This has to be a new day, a new beginning. The end of semester marks the end of last year, for me. A fresh start, a new beginning. I have to believe this will be better, I have to.

I hope, whoever is reading this, the same will come to you. I truly hope tomorrow comes, the light after the storm, the sun shining through the clouds. Let's follow the rainbow, because somewhere at the end, a new life awaits.

I hope you've enjoyed the music for today. I really hope you have. :) I'll leave with one final hope, even if I can't see you, whoever you are, please, I hope you'll smile.