Every thing that I keep missing...

Finals this time around are so overwhelmingly exhausting. Draining, and they never have been before. I've a new poem I wrote today, just after I finished my English final. I like it. It has no title, though. I've yet to think one up.

Untitled
My baser instincts flowed away
From everything he said today
As though the river of mine heart
Was loathe to let his feelings part
Mine eyes still follow as he goes
The flower to the sun, it shows
The midnight owl in darkness sleeps
The pale-skinned farmer sorrow reaps
No effort to the problem yields
But wasted breath and fallow fields
The king won't come when subjects stand
Thy ego held so in thy hand
A guarded gate and wall doth hold
My words from seeking warmth in cold
Such bitter fate he bid me swallow
Far from my fay tale to wallow
In the cave the banished dove
To fly in useless circles, love
Per his command, within the dark
This dying and pathetic lark.


Hm. I find this rather ironic. I'm an atheist/agnostic, but I love Christian music. Well, most of it. My artist of choice for today is Brandon Heath.

"Give me your eyes" I am absolutely in love with this song at the moment.
And "I'm not who I was" Which isn't too bad.

A line in the latter song, "I'm not who I was," caught my ear for the first time tonight. I never noticed it before. But I like it.

"I write about love and such
Maybe cause I want it so much"

But seriously, listen to "Give me your eyes." It has the best beat in it, you just can't help but want to crawl into it and feel it course through your body. Perhaps I exaggerate, but I love it nonetheless.

"Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything thing that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity

Give me your arms for the broken-hearted
Ones that are far beyond my reach
Give me your heart for the ones forgotten
Give me your eyes so I can see."

"All those people going somewhere
Why have I never cared?"

*smiles* It's good.

"I've been there a million times
A couple of million eyes
Just moving pass me by
I swear I never thought that I was wrong
Well I want a second glance
So give me a second chance
To see the way you see the people all along"

On the bright side, I applied to a college. Yes, just one. It's an outrageously small number. One of my friends applied to at least eleven colleges, that I know of. Crazy number as well. But to be honest, I had resigned myself to only applying to a state college, which takes no effort whatsoever. So this, applying to an out-of-state, well, it's an accomplishment for me, considering how I've been feeling towards this subject (and everything) lately.

As I said in the beginning of this post, finals are really draining me this time around. Maybe because I'm already tired, because I was already at the edge of my energy to begin with, but it still just feels like too much. Today wasn't so bad, because I had study hall first thing, and a chance to study. But tomorrow, I haven't got that luxury. It's to government, then Calculus, then Latin. The latter two will kill my GPA if nothing will. Both usually have outrageous tests, the teachers expect so much more of you than you can possibly give, with so many other classes in the mix.

But I won't whine. I won't complain. I won't bother to be in the open. I've heard so many people complaining in the past days, about things that have no point to complaining about, no reason to darken the day with, that I don't wish to spill that onto your plate. No doubt like me, like every other human on this planet, you have your problems as well.

Why burden another with what they don't need to know, or already know? It kills another's spirit just as surely, just as easily, as it kills your own.

My cat has taken to the habit of climbing into my dresser drawer, and burrowing there. I now have a pile of hairy shirts. Silly creature. I suppose it's warmer in there, so it sort of makes sense. But the stubborn mule wouldn't even budge when I told him to get out. He just gave me that look, so reproachful and "I'm not doing it. No fair. You're so cruel." etc. So I had to pull the drawer all the way out, which made him hit his head. I had to scoop him out. I think he made himself heavier for just that second, because it was very hard. And if he had a headache from hitting his head, serves him right. Lol. And yes, I do realize I'm talking about a cat. Hey, they're people too. ;)

Another point of humor. I was so tired this morning, so out of it, that after I took a shower I put my underwear on inside out. Yes. That's what I said. I only realized what I'd done about eleven hours later. I couldn't stop laughing. I've never done that before, I suppose it's kind of the equivalent to wearing your shirt inside out all day and not realizing it until someone points it out, or you discover a tag where it shouldn't be.

Anyway, I hope I brightened (towards the end of this post) your day, rather than the opposite. I know that thinking on all the bad stuff doesn't help, and reading about it only reminds you, as it does me. I'm trying to be positive, at least here, right now. Yesterday, I used a song to brighten me up, and it worked all day long. It gave me that bit of energy I'm sure we all need. Listen, sing along, dance, and smile.

This isn't the original guys, but a movie version, as the video says. But the song sounds exactly the same, and here the video is clearer, and the actions are the same as the general routine for them. :D Now I've got you wondering what the heck I'm talking about, click play. You'll appreciate it. Or rather, I will.