An old letter.

I was browsing through my old notebooks this afternoon, looking for old notes I made for my book, and stumbled over this, quite unexpectedly. This is a letter I wrote once, a while ago. It was supposed to be for C., but I just felt like I had intruded on his life enough, so I never sent it. Then again, I think I just wrote this letter for myself, my kind of closure to a nonexistant era of my life. We're brief friends now, though. So, I suppose, I finally let go of that little delusion of mine. :) Anyway, I always wanted to share it, if not with him, then with someone. So, here goes.

...

I am insignificant, I see this now.
A drop of water in the ocean, a snowflake in the depths of winter, a fallen leaf in the midst of autumn.
Insigificant.
And I bounce, intermittently, between finally persuading myself of the truth, and unable to believe it.
So it is the same with you.
I know all of what you've written has never been with me in mind, yet I still manage to convince myself that it is, at times.
Not only frustrating to you, but frustrating to me as well.
I've always placed my heart in my poems, and simply assumed others did the same. I've always imagnined life like that.
I also know, once you've read this, you will probably sigh or growl in frustration, fingers itching to correct me. You've always been quick to retaliate. Will you be this time as well?
No. I'm certain you will not, because you will just delete the email, erase the poem, forget for once and all this fading memory. As you should, as you must.
Like I said: insignificant.
A drop of water evaporates, a snowflake melts and dissolves, an autumn leaf crumbles.
We all fade, in time. That is the natural cycle, the pattern that cannot be broken.
...

Anyway, I'm trying to find a sort of occupation for the rest of my day. It doesn't feel like seven o'clock, at the moment. The sun lingers too long for comfort, I suppose. Read, a bit of homework, a bit of housework, a bit of pretending like I'm not affected by anything. Just five weeks left, though. Hm.

*Except for the 'Jesus' element to this song, I really like it. I was going to just quote it, but found there were too many lines I liked, so I've posted the entire thing instead.*