A twisted circle.

I don't understand myself at the moment.

My mind is so fuzzy and clouded, but restless at the same time.

I forget to take my medicine, and in forgetting to take it, create a cycle of continually forgetting.

I don't know what it is - whether it is my medicine, or lack of something else, but my memory is completely gone. For the important things, anyway.

My memory, my desire. Motivation is a strange beast to me lately.

I did nothing but read yesterday. Five hundred pages. I tell myself that it is better I finish this book in one go, since it's stopping me from wanting to do anything else.

But is that right?

I hardly know right now. Four hundred pages left, and I will be done with the series. Maybe then it won't haunt me. But I suspect it will be replaced by something else.

My mind is a very hateful thing.

Final projects. Homework. Medicine. Chores. Writing. Eating. Hygiene even.

All is abandoned. And for what? Why?

I wish I could figure out what was so flawed in my mind, and how to fix it.

My thoughts are so distorted that I can't figure out what to do.

I just don't know. I don't like it.

Sometimes I think I've grown up, and then this happens, and I feel like I've been tossed back into the chaos of high school. My mind was royally fucked up then, but I had hoped that I'd grown past that. I'd hoped that my medicine had at least brought me past that.

I don't know.