Long and rambling . . .

Hello readers!

Well, the hubby is back - and guess what? So is my good mood. Lol. *rolls eyes*

Anyway, we FINALLY have a location locked in. We'll be going to  . . . *drum roll* . . . Fort Bliss. That's in Texas, barely. It's also right on the border between Texas, New Mexico, and Mexico.

Oy vey.

I really did NOT want to go there, but Brock is desperate to 1. get the heck out of this unit before he snaps, punches an upper, and loses rank and 2. work the roads like an actual MP. If the first hadn't been so high up in his mind, we might have gotten to go to Germany . . . but the report date isn't for another year, so it was kind of out of the question. Damn. That would have been fun.

Well, there's always the next time.

So now that we have a location, and a date, I can get around to planning school. Unfortunately, there aren't a lot of choices in El Paso. It's either UTEP (the University of Texas at El Paso) or University of Phoenix. I'm leaning more towards the latter. Mostly because, while yes, UTEP is extremely cheap for a four year, and it offers not just bachelor's degrees, but also master's. It also has bad reviews in terms of the academic quality, especially the accounting department.

We'll see.

Got a call from the mother-in-law yesterday. She is very worried about us being so close to the border. Mostly me. She doesn't want us to live off post because of the very high (75%) Mexican population there - she doesn't believe I will be safe. Maybe I'll take a karate or self defense class out there. Because I really don't want to live on post . . . there are some really nice houses in El Paso.

Anyway, right now I just have to focus on school. Which is what I should be doing at this very moment (I have a paper that is due today that I have yet to start), but we all know I'm very skilled at procrastination. :)

Haven't worked on my book in a while, but that probably has more to do with me reading my favoritest series ever (yes, I know that's not a word). That, as well as the lack of readers on the other blog lol. Much as I talk about writing to myself and talking to myself, even on this particular blog, I still see that there are some people reading it. Not so with the other blog. Lol. So I won't be posting my progress and excerpts on there, just mentioning it every now and then on here lol.

Anyway, it's almost eight, and I really have to get started on my paper.

Song of the day:

The Show by Lenka.  :)

Ta for now dear readers. . . whoever you are lol.

Bad brain . . . bad. (If only this worked as well as it did on animals . . . )

Brock will be home in a few days, but I find that my mood has deteriorated quite a bit.

I'm starting to see a direct correlation between my depression and his absence. I'm not talking him going to work during the day, or anything silly like that. I'm talking prolonged absences - like the field.

My medicine works just perfectly when he's at home, but when he's gone - it loses its effectiveness. This is a very frustrating fact, especially because my depression can get quite bad at times. Even to the point of affecting me physically.  It's bloody ridiculous.

Another is that we STILL don't know where we'll be moving. He wants to talk to the recruiter when he gets back - to see what's available still. This makes planning things like school a very difficult (no, impossible) thing to do.

Anyway - I'm not in the mood for writing/talking.

Songs (thanks to Pandora):

Rock and Roll - by Eric Hutchinson
Collide (acoustic version or otherwise) by Howie Day

Have a day. . . . preferably more enjoyable than mine.

Ta for now.

Love.

All I want to say today is: I love my (fur)children. :)

 

(Yes, they're sitting together. No, they don't always get along lol, but they have their moments . . . generally not this cuddled up though.)

Zigzags

Alright, so it's now just a week left until Brock comes home from the field - thank goodness. This house is starting to grate on my nerves, it's entirely too empty and quiet. When he isn't here, I generally don't turn the tv on. . . . thus the quiet.

Heard from him yesterday morning, and apparently due to a mix up in papers (makes me want to smack the guy that fucked them up) we won't be able to go to Fort Leavenworth. Instead, we'll be going to Fort Leonard Wood in the middle of pretty much nowhere.

I'm going to have to figure out something in order to get my bachelor's, because there are no colleges there offering an accounting degree, much less a bachelor's in accounting. Oh joy.



Saw a picture that showed the "Japanese way of learning multiplication." A trick, you could say. As long as you can count and draw lines, you can do it. Makes me wish they had shown us that back when I was still learning that stuff, not that I ever had a problem learning it but still lol.


Yes, I tried it. Yes, it works. Yes, it's frickin' awesome. Lol.

Finally went and bought the last book in my absolute FAVORITE book series (in terms of reading it, I still love Harry Potter - but hey, the books are written in a style for a younger generation). This series I'm talking about is called 'The Wheel of Time' by Robert Jordan. The last book came out back in November I think, and it is technically number 14. I still say the 'Prologue' that was published long before the final book and long after the first counts as a number 15.

It is a phenomenal book series. Very long, each book ranges from 800 to 1,000 pages long, and there are a lot of characters - but it is spectacularly written. (Can you tell that I like the series? Lol.)

One of my tattoos is actually a sentence I came up with using a language from the series . . . . yeah, I know, nerdy. But, I love the books that much.

Well, I'm tired, and other than going to school today and finding out that I had forgotten that class was cancelled for today (we've known for a few weeks), my day has been pretty boring.

It was a cold day with a drizzling sort of snow, but it's better than the blizzard conditions we've had this last month.

I'm not complaining - I'm from cold weather's birthplace . . . well, not really, but I am from a cold place, so I'm used to it lol.

*Yawns* Guess I'm tired, but I won't be going to sleep for a while.

Wish I could say I have a song for the day, but I haven't listened to music today so, sorry dear readers.

Well, okay, there is one that popped into my head a few times today.

Song of the day is . . . *drumroll*

Uncharted by Sara Bareilles

(And a song that occurred to me when I wrote this one down lol.)
Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield . . . . nah, ignore this song. Not in the mood for it today. I guess I'm more in the mood for the idea of taking charge of your own life, not letting anyone else write it for you, etc. Lol. Idk.

***Side note: Does anyone care or listen to the songs? And who out there is reading this blog to begin with? Lol. Just curious.

Ta for now.

Forgive.

Forgiveness is a very rare trait in people today.

Many people can say they forgive someone, but most of the time they still hold on to that hurt or anger.

I learned long ago that it's pointless to hold onto feelings like that (though learning and doing are sometimes very different things for me).

I have experienced truly forgiving someone, and I have experienced the inability to for fear of a repeat.

For the most part I strive to forgive those around me. Holding grudges is a deadly poison in our lives, and only holds you back.

That being said, I am currently working on trying to forgive the one person I haven't been able to for quite a while. It takes a certain kind of strength and bravery to open yourself up to being hurt. But all it takes is fear to keep you from doing what you want to (and need to) do.

Song of the day:

Forgiveness by Matthew West

Fuck titles.

There is no realization more powerful than that of your own insignificance.

Out of how many people in the world - how many of them actually care about you?

Out of how many people in your life - how many actually love you?

There are so few people in our lives who truly love us. This month has sunk that realization in deep for me. My circle shrank quite a bit.

It's thoughts like these, and people like that, that cause my depression.

I don't know why I still care.

I don't know how to stop caring.

What benefit is there? Except pain.

It's a sucky reality.

It's a bitch. Shit. Crap. A farce. Whatever word you care of think of, positive or negative.

But for me, sometimes it's just harsh.

Songs from yesterday:

Almost Lover by A Fine Frenzy
Memory by Sugarcult
Everybody by Ingrid Michaelson

Songs

Just a couple of songs before I forget, since tomorrow is a busy day.

Embers and Envelopes by Mae

I'm Not Who I Was by Brandon Heath

Have a great night!

Just an FYI I suppose.

I know it has been two and a half years since I updated my other blog 'Scaling the Mountain,' and no one has paid attention to it in about as long lol.

I wanted to let you know that I have it back up. I don't know as of yet whether I will end up abandoning it again, but I am determined to keep writing. And since I have actually had the inspiration to write this past month or two, I think I can 40% safely say that I won't be forgetting about it. Lol.

Now that I'm not sitting around, not wanting to write, but telling myself I need to, now that I am actually writing - not just talking about it - I thought I would get that blog back up and running.

I repeat myself.

Anyway, that's all. Enough of my rambling lol. Not a lot made sense, but I'm sure you got the gist of it.

A song!

All About Us - by He is We

The choir . . . of dogs.

So my neighbors have invested in two dogs who LOVE to bark. You know the kind - the ones who bark just to hear themselves bark.

And my wonderful child just LOVES to bark when other dogs are barking.

So, needless to say, I can barely let her outside without a bark fest going on - they also seem to be rather territorial despite two (yes, two) fences between them.

I went and bought a spray corrector (like a shock collar, but this shoots citronella at their face when they bark) to get Zulu to stop. She must be too active for it to work, or too determined to bark, because she's perfectly okay barking nonstop even with the damn thing on.

Money down the drain. Returning it today. Thank goodness we're moving in a few months.

I really don't want to get a shock collar - I know they're effective, but I don't feel like they're very humane. So I'm going to get something that emits some sound or other that dogs don't like when they bark. We'll see if that works.

If not, then I just might have to get a shock collar. :(

Got the first chapter (which was the prologue) rewritten for my book. Sad part is, that was the one part (except for the epilogue) that I actually liked, and I still needed to rewrite it lol.

The thing to remember with rewriting - don't get so attached to what you've already written that you can't delete it.

Anyway, that's that. Now I'm gonna go see what I can get accomplished on my day off.

Song for the day:

Losing Sleep - Parachute.