Saturday, August 7, 2010

Door Mat. Walk all over me, please.

I feel like I'm living in the same house as my brother - the paranoia about my own things, and about leaving the house and putting my things in a more vulnerable position.

Not only that, through the words of a future in-law, I now feel supremely unwelcome.

The charity case. Who doesn't deserve shit because she doesn't do shit. Especially because I'm not family.

I cannot wait for the next week to pass. I want to leave. I wish I could. The sooner the better.

I'll have to find a different place for next Christmas break and summer. Make some extra money so I can afford the dorms over the holidays, or something. I'll sleep on the floor of my grandmother's basement if I can find no other option. But this - this won't be repeated.

I can't stand this, my limit has been broken. I feel like I have been both reverted back to my childhood self-and belittled in the most supreme way. There is no self worth here anymore.

I must become independent this year, as best I can, so I won't have to endure this kind of humiliation again.

1 comment:

April Eubank said...

Talk to me closer to Christmas; I'm sure we can think of something. My parents or aunt might be willing to put you up in exchange for walking the dogs. ;)