Please tell me why it has to hurt so much more when it's family that stands you up.
Tonight it feels like the last straw.
I'm so exhausted from my hiking trip, and last night when I got back, after I sent M. a letter saying I needed to think about what he's said, he replied with a letter saying he was stupid, indecisive, and a dumbass for not asking me out when he physically had a chance, and then followed that letter up with another telling me "never mind" and that he works too much as it is so we should just forget even trying. And that's a good thing, but it just feels like another kick in the ribs.
My sister just bailed on me for 4th of July, and I know that if my mom's boyfriend was in town, she would too, if she isn't going to tonight as it is.
I feel like my self-esteem is at another low tonight.
If things weren't pointless enough as it is, this has only shown me just how much I'm wasting my time.
She (for liz) - Parachute
You Belong With Me - Taylor Swift
Where is the love? - Black Eyed Peas
Still Ain't Over You - Augustana
Shattered - OAR
Always on my Mind - Phantom Planet
Gravity - The Fold
Up Against the Wall - Boys Like Girls
Drive Away - All American Rejects
2 comments:
I didn't do anything for the fourth of July. I know the whole self-esteem thing. I'm trying to figure out the whole Em thing still. It seems when I try to talk to her she avoids me, and when I try to avoid her she talks to me. But, we never really have any conversations. I wonder, if she even cares. I suppose it doesn't matter, but it'd be nice to know whether she actually wants to be my friend or if she's just being nice.
It's been ages since we last talked Noah. I'm sorry about how things are turning out with Emily. We should chat sometime, though.
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