Anyway. Obviously, things are much different than first semester freshman year of college. Different guy, different heart, different head - different thoughts. Different future.
I don't write like I used to. In fact, I barely write at all. I don't know if that's a problem with my mind or just a product of my new-ish life/situation. I'd like to blame college. Maybe guys. There certainly wasn't a whole lot of either of those before August '09.
I've made mistakes, too many to count. I wish I'd gone to a different college. Thought a little more about what I was doing, where I was going. Maybe made myself write a little more than I did. Worked on my book with a little more frequency. But most of all, I wish I hadn't lost sight of my dream.
Currently, I'm a little lost. I don't write, so I don't know if I'm even a writer anymore. I don't know if I'll ever finish my book, with the way I've been progressing so far. I'm not sure if I want to completely change my major from a literary to a scientific field. The reigning logic is pointed at no money with a literary major, but a greater likelihood of continuing writing. Or, an amazing salary as a science major but little to no chance for writing anymore. The other college is cheaper, but bigger and farther away. I'd save money, but I wouldn't see my family or my fiancé as much, if at all, during the course of the school year.
But I can't continue with what I'm doing right now.
I wish I could restart my entire year and a half. I wonder if that would leave me worse off, or possibly better.
In any case. Time to change the display of this blog. Time to restart where I am right now, and figure out where I'm going.
With any luck,
This just might work.
